The Comfort in Numbers
Jan 12, 2010 by rilla
Since I quit my previous job, my anxiety has diminished to a minuscule speck. I am, though, somewhat concerned that it will rear its ugly head when I start another job. With the Christmas season past, my anxiety diminished, and a dwindling bank account, I've been looking for something new that won't make me miserable. Nay! Something that I may even like!
In an effort to figure out what the fuck to do about anxiety attacks, why I get them, how to stop them, etc., I started seeing a very nice counselor, and part of my homework this week was to read some things and fill out some tests and stuff. One of the tests was the Burns Anxiety Inventory (PDF) and it helps to rate the severity and frequency of many many symptoms of anxiety. So, yesterday I scored an eighteen out of a possible 99, where a lower score is a healthier score. In that case, it's mild anxiety.
I finished doing all the reading and reflecting that I was supposed to do, and I was feeling pretty good about how much I had progressed since my last day of work. Two months ago, I was a pretty big mess, and I felt crazy. So I went back to the Burns Anxiety Inventory and did a little reminiscing and did a quick tally of what my symptoms would have been while I was working over there. The total: 56.
FIFTY-SIX. Extreme anxiety. (I always do things to the extreme!!)
I never really needed any extra justification for leaving a job that was making me unhappy, but it kind of was a big, why-would-you-ever-feel-bad-for-quitting smack to the head. It also made me feel a whole lot healthier. My meager current score of eighteen, seems downright marvelous.
Regardless of the numbers, which do make me feel better, my counselor is very confident that I can learn how to get my anxiety totally under control, and that makes me feel a lot better too.
In an effort to figure out what the fuck to do about anxiety attacks, why I get them, how to stop them, etc., I started seeing a very nice counselor, and part of my homework this week was to read some things and fill out some tests and stuff. One of the tests was the Burns Anxiety Inventory (PDF) and it helps to rate the severity and frequency of many many symptoms of anxiety. So, yesterday I scored an eighteen out of a possible 99, where a lower score is a healthier score. In that case, it's mild anxiety.
I finished doing all the reading and reflecting that I was supposed to do, and I was feeling pretty good about how much I had progressed since my last day of work. Two months ago, I was a pretty big mess, and I felt crazy. So I went back to the Burns Anxiety Inventory and did a little reminiscing and did a quick tally of what my symptoms would have been while I was working over there. The total: 56.
FIFTY-SIX. Extreme anxiety. (I always do things to the extreme!!)
I never really needed any extra justification for leaving a job that was making me unhappy, but it kind of was a big, why-would-you-ever-feel-bad-for-quitting smack to the head. It also made me feel a whole lot healthier. My meager current score of eighteen, seems downright marvelous.
Regardless of the numbers, which do make me feel better, my counselor is very confident that I can learn how to get my anxiety totally under control, and that makes me feel a lot better too.
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