An Experiment
Feb 4, 2009 by rilla
I'm having one of those mornings. I'm not sure if anyone else has them, or just me. I have a weird relationship to sleep. I cuddle up to it and refuse to let it go... especially in the mornings.
Today, though, my body is up and doing stuff, but my brain is in some weird semi-sleep fog. I used to feel this way quite often when I was a teen-ager. I'd stumble from my bedroom to the living room, turn on the television and watch children's programming until my brain perked up. This was a lost more difficult to do when I was living in the dorm. There was a room with a television, but it wasn't actually that fun to plop into in brain-haze and kill a few hours. I would always be interrupted by people who wanted me to interact with them, to think, to communicate. I was only set to receive not whatever-the-opposite-of-receive is. Instead, I would make my way to the cafeteria, wearing whatever clothes were nearest to me on the floor, eat too many breakfast muffins and sit at our table, and stare through the window at the side of the gym building until someone came to rouse me, Jess, usually, since she would expect me to accompany her on some hijinx.
I've experienced brain-haze less as an adult. I know it sticks with me on some days when I have to go to work. I'll dump myself under the shower, clothe myself and totter out to the bus stop, or set my feet on the path to work. By the time I get to where I'm going, I should be alert enough to do my thing. Auto pilot has gotten me to a few destinations without me actually remembering the trip, so rest assured drivers' of the world, it happens to pedestrians as well.
But on days like today, days when I don't actually have to do anything, I miss those moments when I could watch Mr. Dress-Up, Fred Penner's Place, and Sesame Street until it was time to eat lunch. While my morning was gone, I could revel in my unthinking state and simply absorb all the building blocks of imagination and language. This morning over my bowl of cheapo-brand sugar puffs, I had "Guess I forgot to put the fog lights in" (1:20) in my head for longer than I'd care to admit, and my brain is cycling through jibberish and uncontrolled lateral thinking. On the plus side, I got lost in Youtube and various video sites for twenty minutes trying to find that clip. So I've decided that the internet is a poor substitute for the television of my youth, probably because it requires too much input from me at the moment, it's a reactionary device.
Today, though, my body is up and doing stuff, but my brain is in some weird semi-sleep fog. I used to feel this way quite often when I was a teen-ager. I'd stumble from my bedroom to the living room, turn on the television and watch children's programming until my brain perked up. This was a lost more difficult to do when I was living in the dorm. There was a room with a television, but it wasn't actually that fun to plop into in brain-haze and kill a few hours. I would always be interrupted by people who wanted me to interact with them, to think, to communicate. I was only set to receive not whatever-the-opposite-of-receive is. Instead, I would make my way to the cafeteria, wearing whatever clothes were nearest to me on the floor, eat too many breakfast muffins and sit at our table, and stare through the window at the side of the gym building until someone came to rouse me, Jess, usually, since she would expect me to accompany her on some hijinx.
I've experienced brain-haze less as an adult. I know it sticks with me on some days when I have to go to work. I'll dump myself under the shower, clothe myself and totter out to the bus stop, or set my feet on the path to work. By the time I get to where I'm going, I should be alert enough to do my thing. Auto pilot has gotten me to a few destinations without me actually remembering the trip, so rest assured drivers' of the world, it happens to pedestrians as well.
But on days like today, days when I don't actually have to do anything, I miss those moments when I could watch Mr. Dress-Up, Fred Penner's Place, and Sesame Street until it was time to eat lunch. While my morning was gone, I could revel in my unthinking state and simply absorb all the building blocks of imagination and language. This morning over my bowl of cheapo-brand sugar puffs, I had "Guess I forgot to put the fog lights in" (1:20) in my head for longer than I'd care to admit, and my brain is cycling through jibberish and uncontrolled lateral thinking. On the plus side, I got lost in Youtube and various video sites for twenty minutes trying to find that clip. So I've decided that the internet is a poor substitute for the television of my youth, probably because it requires too much input from me at the moment, it's a reactionary device.
Posts
Rilla:
A comment on the book thing--I am more than happy to discuss potential ideas if it helps. =P
As for the relationship thing--Well, you don't have to let go of being crazy in love, but don't hang on to it too tightly either. You'll know when change feels 'right.'
Send me an e-mail when you have time, alrighty?
Brennan (not my old roommate): Thanks for keeping up with what's going on with me. I've had your e-mail in my inbox and I fully intend to get back to you. Expect some sort of meandering response this week-end.